1.Not all the information was included and it seems that it's not that formal.
2.
Dear Mr/Ms. Margot,
I understand that you are likely reviewing numerous applications, which can be a demanding task. I will be concise in presenting my qualifications and interest in the position.
While I may not have a deep personal passion for your company’s mission, I find the field of sales to be engaging. Your company has a solid foundation, and I believe I can contribute positively to its continued growth. My direct sales experience was limited to a cashier role during high school. Although I did not enjoy that job, I am confident that I would find this role much more fulfilling. If hired, I will meet the expected hours and perform my duties with hard work. I am certain that my positive attitude will make me a valuable addition to your team.
I graduated from the University of Toronto with a 4.0 GPA and was well-regarded by my peers, which is a trait that is advantageous in sales. Moreover, being well-regarded shows that I can build good relationships and work well with others, both of which are important in sales. It means I can connect with customers and colleagues, making it easier to achieve sales targets and contribute to a positive work environment.
I have outlined my work experience, education, and reasons for why I believe I am a suitable candidate for this position. While I have not listed specific skills, my academic background at a prestigious institution ensures that I can quickly learn and master any required programs. Success in this role requires a capable and personable individual who can work well in a team environment, qualities that I possess.
Thank you for considering my application.
Yours, sincerely