1. Inner vs. Outer Expectations
Outer Expectations: These are expectations placed on you by the outside world. Example: A deadline from your boss, a request from a friend, or a traffic law.
Inner Expectations: These are the expectations you place on yourself. Example: A New Year’s resolution to eat healthier, a personal goal to write a book, or a decision to wake up earlier.
2. The Mottos of the Tendencies
Upholder: Discipline is my freedom.
Questioner: I’ll comply if you convince me why.
Obliger: You can count on me, and I’m counting on you to count on me.
Rebel: You can’t make me, and neither can I.
3. The Percentage Split
Obligers: 41% (The largest group)
Questioners: 24%
Upholders: 19%
Rebels: 17% (The smallest group)
4. Who struggles most with their own goals?
Obligers have the hardest time. Because they are people pleasers by nature. They excel at meeting outer expectations but they resist inner expectations. Without someone else watching or counting on them they often put their own goals at the bottom of the priority list.
5. Who is the most difficult to work with?
I find Rebels or Questioners the most challenging. Because rebels are difficult, they resist all expectations. If you tell a Rebel what to do they often feel a natural urge to do the opposite just to prove their freedom, which is so difficult. Questioners can be exhausting to work with because they won't move forward until they have all the data and a logical reason. This can lead to analysis paralysis or be seen as not being a team player.
6. Key Characteristics Summary
Tendency
Upholders: highly disciplined and self motivated. They schedule their routines and they dont need anyone to check in on them.
Questioners: only driven by logic and efficiency. They question all the time and hate anything arbitrary. They turn all the outer expectation into inner ones by researching them first.
Obligers: They’re reliable and helpful to others as they are the glue of many teams. But they require the external accountability like coach to get their own work done
Rebels: They value their freedom and choice above all else. They’re working spontaneously and not planning their routine at all.
7. Which of the Four Tendencies am I?.
I think I’m a likely a Questioner with an Upholder lean.